In a blockbuster film like Star Wars, The Hobbit or The Matrix, the film often opens with the main character a little dissatisfied with their life before an adventure disrupts their life.
Often when the adventure occurs they resent it and try to avoid getting caught up in it. This stage is called The Refusal of The Call. Yet unless and until they accept the call they are stuck in a half life.
Certainly later when the outcome is uncertain they definitely regret it.
However, ultimately it’s the adventure that gives their life a purpose. And it is the challenge that allows them to grow into the Hero they become. The greater the challenge, the greater the change and thus the subsequent reward.
So what does that have to do with you?
Are you dissatisfied with your relationship?
Maybe your life has brought you to a place of wanting more, but from circumstances, fear and habit you’ve been stuck.
Is it time for your adventure to transform your relationship or find the relationship that transforms you?
If you listen to people talking about their relationship – or quest for one – you’ll hear;
“There’s no good single men/women left”
“No one wants a real relationship these days”
“I just attract arseholes/bitches”
Given the stats on divorces and break-ups there’s no shortage of people out there single. And while some might not be ready for a relationship – 95% of people do want someone. So there’s a lot of potential partners.
Let’s be really honest about this. There’s so much political correctness and fear about upsetting people that we’ve lost the art of just telling stuff as it is.
The truth is that your relationships are a reflection of you. More specifically your emotional maturity and your relationship skills.
We don’t like to tell people this when their relationships suck. And I can understand it. How do you tell an abused spouse that it’s their own fault?
Of course, no one deserves abuse. And that statement doesn’t mean you deserved the abuse. It isn’t that you must be a bad person because you have or had a bad relationship.
Some of the best people have horrible relationships.
Not because the relationships reflect them, but because there is something wrong in their expectations from a relationship. Maybe they’re accepting less because they are trying too hard to make the relationship work. They may have glitches in their Operating System or they may not have formed a very clear idea of what they want from a Partner or for whatever reason.
What matters isn’t what our relationships have been like up to now, but what they are like from hereon.
Here is the truth.
Everyone walking this earth is missing some of the pieces to complete their personal jigsaw.
It might be that they lack a lover. It might be that they can’t find a way to do the career that they really want. It might be that they lack the peace of mind they crave. We all have something missing from our life or some shit we want to get rid of as soon as we can.
So we think we need a lover to complete us. Or a different one. A new job. Our own business. Enough money.
The truth we’re voiding is that it’s not the thing in the outside world that’s out of reach…
It’s an inner conflict that we have to resolve.
We have to change something inside us. The way we see things. The things we don’t want to face up to about ourselves. The fears that we have always avoided facing. This is what is between us and all that we wish for.
You just have to be willing to empty all your baggage out into the open and work your way through it. Step by step.
You could do what many people do which is blame their partners, blame fate or whatever. But that means leaving your future relationships to chance.
Until you look at everything in life as if it was down to you, you’ll always be a victim. And a victim has to take what they’re given.
This is like people who are unhappy with their weight, but make every excuse about why things are different for them. They’re big boned. Have hormonal issues or whatever.
The truth is always the truth.
Hiding from the truth might make you feel better for a while, but it’s what keeps you trapped. Trapped in a miserable relationship. Facing the same cycles year after year.
So here’s the critical question…
Are you feeling ready for more in your relationships and are you willing to take the Lover’s Journey knowing it’s not a quick and easy fix?